How to survive being maid of honor

Before we started My Best Friend's Weekend, we interviewed and surveyed maids of honor to talk about their experiences. While being asked to be maid of an honor was -- well, a big honor -- one of the most common words we heard was that it was hard. The maid of honor's role is a mix of traffic cop, shoulder to cry on, confidant, air traffic controller, MC, toastmaster, official grown-up, Martha Stewart, dancing machine, fun czar, and banker. (Trust us: they tend to take on more extra costs than other members of the wedding party.) So what can you do to perform the role with grace?

It's all going to be okay.

It's all going to be okay.

  1. It's not personal. You will be the receiver of complaints and bearer of bad news. Remember (unless you've gone full Annie in Bridesmaids), you did your best, and the reactions you get are because others don't like the situation, not because you did anything wrong.
  2. People will flake and things won't be perfect. Vendors or attendees won't show or will be late. The flowers won't be that perfect shade of lavender or something important will go missing. All you can do? Take a deep breath, assure everyone things will be just fine, and keep an emergency Ring Pop in your purse just in case.
  3. Remember what's important. This is about making sure your friend (and/or sibling) gets to spend time with her friends and enjoy an important life event. In thirty years (or even three months), to paraphrase Maya Angelou, nobody's going to remember the details of what happened, but they will remember how you made everyone feel.

And for anyone who comes into contact with the maid of honor? Be kind. We promise -- she's trying to make everyone happy. And whether you loved or hated everything she did, just say thank you. We can assure you it's something she hasn't heard enough.