Who gets invite to the bachelorette? It can be a tricky topic, although (likely) less loaded than decisions around bridesmaids and whether Great Aunt Sue is invited to the wedding. Still, we have a couple rules of thumb to simplify your decision-making process:
- Start with your bridesmaids. If possible, you schedule the bachelorette around them. You can (and should) skip inviting bridesmaids who would be too young to enjoy whatever your maid of honor plans, although including them in the pre-wedding festivities in some way will make them feel like a grown-up (so, say, have them along to a tame bridesmaid and friends dinner).
- Add in your 4am friends who aren't bridesmaids. These friends are easy to identify: If you needed to for some reason, would you call her (or him) at 4am? If not, why are you thinking of inviting them? (And have a co-ed bachelorette if you want -- just be ready for more logistics and asking your maid of honor for a little more creativity.)
- Choose family (and future family) selectively. You don't have to invite your distant cousins or fiance's sisters or cousins (unless they are bridesmaids), but make sure you won't create a blow-up if they aren't invited. Be prepared with some other event you could do with them to avoid fall-out.
At this point, you should have a decent list. Then ask yourself two questions:
- Are they invited to the wedding? Unless you're having a tiny, family-only or destination wedding, it's awkward to invite someone to your bachelorette who wouldn't come to your wedding. (However, if your wedding will be truly tiny, this can be a good way to celebrate with those who won't be able to come.)
- Would they have fun with the type of event that's being planned or are you willing to tailor it to them? Older and younger relatives and friends are more likely to enjoy a bridal shower or spa day than a raging party.
The most important thing: having the people you care the most about.